A red traffic light is the universal signal to stop. One that everyone knows. If only it were that easy to define a socially safe environment. Because that is different for everyone. There are many aspects to consider, everyone has their own personal boundaries and feelings. I too have found myself in safe and unsafe working environments or situations. I’m not thin-skinned but on occasion something happens out of the blue, and I go into freeze mode. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, not knowing what to do or say; not being yourself and expressing your own opinion.

Recently someone told me that I came across as insecure in a meeting, because I had failed to stand by my suggestion and was too quick to go along with someone else’s idea. And it was not how they knew me. They were right. A few weeks before, I was cut off in a meeting and not given room to explain my views. It made me question myself, and made me feel small, insecure. That experience carried over into following meetings, I was wary and behaved differently.

Which is exactly what we shouldn’t do. Everyone’s opinion counts and is valuable. It is important to really listen to each other. A touch, a comment, non-verbal communication, it can all have an impact. The important thing is to address it. If not for you, for someone else.

So dare to be you. Dare to be yourself, dare to express yourself and listen to one another. Take that first step and talk to a colleague about what this issue means to you. It is the only way to become inclusive and open to diversity.